“Kintsugi: embrace your imperfections and find happiness the Japanese way.”

Tomas Navarro

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Is your perfectionism killing you? 

Are you tired of constantly striving for an unattainable ideal?

Do you find yourself drowning in self-criticism and never feeling good enough?

We don’t have to be perfect or do things perfectly to be successful though.

I, for one, would not want to ‘erase’ my flaws or the mistakes I made. They are part of who I am now, and definitely made me stronger, even if imperfect.

In this blog, I explore the challenges faced by perfectionists and introduce you to the beautiful concept of Kintsugi - a method that can help you break free from the restraints of perfectionism and embrace imperfections.

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The Perfectionist's plight:

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword. On one hand, it pushes us to excel and deliver exceptional results. On the other hand, it can lead to stress, burnout, and a never-ending cycle of disappointment. Obsessive perfectionism can hamper productivity, causing us to procrastinate and sometimes miss deadlines. It can also leave us feeling overwhelmed and dissatisfied.

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Introducing Kintsugi:

Kintsugi or ‘golden joinery’ is an ancient Japanese art form which focuses on repairing objects by mending the areas of breakage with gold lacquer, thereby embracing their flaws, and transforming them into something unique, beautiful, and more valuable.

Similarly, by adopting the principles of Kintsugi, if we choose to embrace our struggles and imperfections, treat our ‘breakages’ as part of our history, and repair ourselves with kindness, compassion, and self-love, we can learn to value our unique qualities and find strength in our vulnerabilities, leading to personal growth and resilience.

And similarly to the revitalised ceramic, the challenges we went through become a symbol of our fragility and vulnerability but also of our strength and beauty.

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Strategies to combat perfectionism:

1. Embrace progress over perfection:

Instead of fixating on flawless outcomes, celebrate the progress you make along the way. Break your goals into smaller, achievable milestones and acknowledge each step forward. Remember, it's the journey that counts, not just the destination.

2. Challenge your inner critic:

Acknowledge that you are allowed to be imperfect, to make mistakes. Replace self-critical thoughts with self-compassion. Whenever that inner perfectionist starts whispering doubts in your ear, counteract it with positive affirmations. Remind yourself that making mistakes is a natural part of growth.

3. Set realistic expectations:

Perfectionists often set impossibly high standards for themselves, but everyone has their limits, and the day only has 24 hours. So, don’t waste your resources by chasing an overly demanding dream for your life and learn to set realistic expectations. Understand that mistakes and setbacks are opportunities for learning and personal development.

4. Enjoy experimenting:

By challenging your inner critic and embracing imperfections, start experimenting with new styles, techniques, hobbies, activities, and ways of working leading to more innovative and unique results. Be happy that things turned the way they did. You would be someone else if it hadn’t happened.

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Don’t force yourself to be someone you can’t or won’t be. Be a broken pottery fixed with gold instead. Appreciate your imperfections, they make you who you are. The journey may not be easy, but by incorporating the principles of Kintsugi into your life, you'll find inner peace, personal growth, and a renewed sense of purpose. Remember, you are more than your achievements - you are a work of art in progress. So, let go of perfection and start embracing the beauty in your flaws. You've got this!

I work with my coaching clients to explore and clear limiting beliefs, thereby building their self-esteem and resilience. Get in touch if you think you need help with this.