Comparisonitis – yes that’s a word. 

It’s a feeling that creeps up on you without warning when you see someone doing or having something that you 'perceive' as better than you.

A totally unhelpful activity that leaves you feeling inadequate, and with your confidence and self-worth in tatters. Yet, a lot of us, myself included, consciously or unconsciously compare ourselves to others on a regular basis.

Once you’ve caught yourself doing this, here are a few tips to stop you in your tracks:

1.     Don’t compare your Chapter 2 to someone’s Chapter 10.

Starting your career? Building a new business? Buying your first home?
Then don’t compare yourself to someone further down the line. Like you, they had to start somewhere, you just don’t see that anymore.

 2.     Remember the 90/10 rule.
What you see of other people’s lives is only a curated version (maybe 10%?) of their entire life, especially on social media. Most of the time, you don’t see their downs or their struggles, remember that.

3.     Make peace with where you are right now.
Your January goals have not come to fruition yet? Or you haven’t done as much as you’d hoped and comparing yourself with others is making you feel bad or guilty?
Keep a positive mind instead, focus on what you did achieve and if you have not started at all, think about your first step, put it into action and pat yourself on the back for making a start.

 4.     Accept yourself, warts and all.
Whether they are physical, intellectual or even emotional, we all have a tendency to focus on what we perceive at shortcomings, and this can be exacerbated by comparing ourselves to the person with thicker hair, a leaner or more muscular body, more degrees or higher resilience. Focus on your strengths and qualities instead.

 5.     Stop being judgmental of yourself or your actions.
Bring awareness to the voice - or inner critic - that’s telling you that you are not good at maths, that you look fat in that dress, or that you are not ready for that big meeting being held tomorrow, acknowledge it but move on and carry on with your activities. You’ve got this.

 6.     Be kind to yourself.
This is often something my clients might hear me say at the end of our session, it’s a good reminder for me to do the same. Being compassionate starts with being kind to ourselves.

Need help to work on this, book a free consultation.